Shattered into Tears

Perhaps.  Maybe.  I can’t explain it, really.

Have you ever heard a bit of news that just made your heart shatter?  Well, of course, what am I thinking??  Everyone hears a heart shattering news clip…… death, job loss, betrayal……  It is a part of living in this broken world.

Over a year ago, I experienced a senseless act of….. I really don’t know the words to describe it, but it affected me in ways you can never imagine.

I doubted God.

I doubted Christians….. Christianity…..

I doubted people.

I doubted.

The experience left me numb in more ways than one.

Then boom….. out of the clear blue the experience came to the forefront of my mind.  My heart shattered for those involved.  Tears crashed down and my stomach’s pit flipped.

Injustice.  Betrayal.  All those words came to my mind.  Oh, don’t you worry…. I questioned God in this matter so many times it is unreal….. couldn’t count that  high if I wanted to.  God knows how scarred I am……

I could hear the voices…. See the experience play before me…. I could smell the sweet aroma of the bouquet of flowers in the room.  It was there happening in front of me again.  My heart shattered and tears fell hard.  Wiping seemed so futile.

Then God slipped his arm around me…. I know how you feel.  Injustice.  Ugliness of the world.  Pain.  Shattered souls.  I know it all.

I can not changed what happened.  God wouldn’t want me to.  I have found strength.  I have found love.  I have found peace.  This time I was not shattered for myself but for another.

God squeezed me harder….. I do that too.  Whenever a lamb of mine gets away or feels like there is no hope…. My heart shatters over the broken pieces.

Jesus knows.  Jesus understands.  He’s just a prayer away……  But then I heard God’s whisper….. I have seen and I have blessed.  All is good.

Praise Jesus….. God bless.

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