As a child, I really didn’t think things through. I attended elementary school where my mother taught. I could not.. I repeat.. could not get away with anything. The one time I got my name on the blackboard (in first grade), my mother watched the whole thing. All I did was sharpen my pencil because the lead broke. But there was no excuses accepted. Ahem… somehow she know that I intentionally broke the lead just to get up from my desk.
Anyway, when I was in the 4th grade, we had a basketball tournament. We had to do all thse basketball drills. I will never forget when it was my time to dribble. Now, I wasn’t athletic to say the least. I could read and explain all the intricacies of the rule book. Not actually perform them. So here I was trying my hardest to dribble. As my teenage daughter would say, “Epic Fail.” It was horrible. I was embarrassed and my eyes were tearing up. I could hardly see the ball from the flooding tears. I managed to get across the court just to hear all the jeering and laughter at my epic fail. I spouted out, “Leave me alone! I’m going blind! I can’t see!” I ran into the arms of the awaiting Mrs. Torres and cried my little heart out. My hurt behavior proved to Mrs. Torres that indeed I was going blind.
Imagine now, in the teacher’s lounge later that day..
Mrs. Torres: Oh Carolyn, I am so sorry to hear about Regina.
Mrs. Torres: She was quite upset this morning while at basketball drills. It just broke my heart to see her crumble like that.
Mom: (concerned I am sure) What on earth happened?
Mrs. Torres: (putting her hand over her heart and tearing up) She told me of her condition. This must be agony for you.
Mrs. Torres: Don’t worry the Blind School is a wonderful place. She is so smart. She will do wonderfully there.
Now imagine the “talking to” that I got that night. I would go into details but why relive the thing!! I will leave that up to your own imagination.
I lied about going blind so that people would leave me alone. I lead them to believe that I had a condition and that was the reason I failed at the task given. Well the light bulb just went off over my head.. That was probably the first indication of my fear of failure. Oh, but I have perfected the excuse game though. I don’t make up elaborate stories of “conditions” any more. My mother put a stop to that long ago. Oh no! Now, I just ignore it or find something else to preoccupy my time.
But there are consequences to my behavior now… my mom isn’t here to set me straight. So, what happens is that I miss out on the blessings. If God assigns me a task and I ignore it or pull out the “I’m Busy, I’ll Pass” card, I have missed an opportunity of a lifetime. God only knows what’s on the other side of that assignment. God is good so you know the other side has to be just as good.
How sad it is to think that I would miss out on something God planned just because of my fear of an “epic fail?” I miss out on Spiritual Growth, Bonding with God, Living Christ-Like, and many times it would be missing out on just plain Love! So why do I settle for less? Now here’s the kicker… by not going out on a limb and saying yes to God, it is the ultimate EPIC FAIL!!
Hope you enjoy your day!!